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[07 Aug 2006|10:30am] |
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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Up got Jack, and home did trot,
As fast as he could caper,
He went to bed and bound his head,
With vinegar and brown paper.
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[13 Jul 2006|01:47pm] |
I'm not sure I like the Elves that have moved in. There are now little pairs of shoes lying around all the place, and someone decided to copyedit the latest edition of the Quibbler. I don't think they're very well versed in English, though. They changed all the "where"s to "were"s, and there are now fragmented sentences all over printing press. There're grammar correcting spells everywhere...
Does anyone need a few million small pairs of shoes? They're all shoes to fit the left foot, though.
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[21 Jun 2006|11:45pm] |
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But it is rather cold.
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[02 Jun 2006|04:18pm] |
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I was sitting in my garden this afternoon when I realised that I had a mango tree. I didn't think that you could grow mangoes in Scotland, but I decided to have a few... Delicious! Much better than the ones that get imported by portkey from Australia, they always have a strange, slightly bitter taste to them. Of course, imported fruits have all those insanity-causing charms to help keep the fruit fresh on them.
Whose is the mango tree, though? It wasn't there yesterday. There was a pack of rabid, three-headed monkeys (a hybrid bred by strangers in Pakistan) running around earlier, so perhaps they decided to plant it. My mother did buy some beans at market once, that I found in the back of one of her old books. They were warm to the touch and in the darkness they had a strange, green glow to them.
Do mangoes grow from green beans?
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[01 Apr 2006|01:19pm] |
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I didn't order the maggots, though.
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[07 Mar 2006|03:33pm] |
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Thank you.
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[01 Feb 2006|10:14pm] |
I've got a box of dead rats. I fed some of them to the rottweilers, though, so it's a half-full box. Does anyone want a half-full box of rats? I've put a freezing charm on them to keep them fresh, but I might just end up burying them under the Gazebo if nobody wants them. I don't think the charm to remove stains from clothing worked either, as you can see p here and there. Only on Fridays, though.
I should get to seeing about the rottweiler shit.
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[30 Dec 2005|08:25pm] |
Would anyone like to buy some rats? I've got a box full of them. I think most of them are still alive, though I can't really tell. Quite a few of them got covered in red ink, though, when I was trying to pick them all up. One of them bit me, too, but I think that was the one that accidentally got squashed with one of my Father's old boots.
One of my mother's spell books had a recipe for removing stains from cloth. I think it worked for my coat, though if you look at it in bright light, there's still a faint tinge of red and green on it. I felt rather seasonable, wearing it.
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[19 Dec 2005|02:46pm] |
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The rats are still living in the back of my wardrobe. I took out my nice velvet overcoat this afternoon, and it was covered in strange writing in green and red pen. What does "(p/2)2 + (p/2)2 ยน (p/2)2" mean? It's all Coptic to me. I really must do something about those rats, though. Does anyone know a good piper? Or someone good with animal enchantments?
I did come across a rather brilliant cleaning charms, works wonders, but I don't think that'll help with the rat problem. Maybe it'll at least get that Coptic gibberish off my overcoat...
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[31 Oct 2005|12:42am] |
I don't suppose gnome heads or headless gnomes have any use in Potions. Does anybody wish to buy about sixty headless gnomes and their associated heads? I'm missing a few heads, actually. I suppose I should tally them up and work out which head goes with which body, but I'm not sure that I could be bothered.
There's a rather strange looking Muggle device that looks a bit like something you'd use to hit someone over the head with. It's white, though, and keeps making this horrible ringing noise, and then, if you listen hard enough, you can faintly hear someone asking if you want to buy double glazing.
What's double glazing? I wonder if it's any relation to the Tri-Glazed Hippopotamus of Amsterdam. Perhaps a distant cousin.
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[18 Oct 2005|11:46am] |
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That potion didn't even work with lamb korma. I tried some rogan josh, too, and some leftover vindaloo, but no success. Strangely enough, if you change the letters of lorac around, you get coral. I'm not sure if will do anything, but I suppose I shall try it out. I think I've got a rather nasty ghoul infestation in my garden, because I keep coming across headless gnomes. I'm not sure what's happened to the heads. I suppose I'll come across them hiding behind a rose bush.
Ginny, are you going to come over for tea sometime this week? I'm not at all busy, except for an interview I've got on Friday for my article on rebellious enchanted furniture. A chair gave me a rather nasty bite the other day.
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[05 Oct 2005|11:03am] |
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This potion calls for a cup of dried Lorac. I popped in to the apothecary on Diagon Alley, but they didn't have any. The man there said that he'd never even heard of it, but he thought that it might be a foreign name for something quite common. Does anyone speak this sort of foreign? I tried a translation spell, but instead of getting something in English, I got marijani which doesn't sound English. It sounds like some sort of Indian take-away dish.
Perhaps you have to add a cup of lamb korma?
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[27 Aug 2005|11:06am] |
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America was quite fun actually. I'm sure readers of the Quibbler will be very interested in the article I'm writing about the houngan I ran into in New Orleans. I seem to have a surplus of rabbit's feet, though. Does anyone want a rabbit's foot?
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[01 Aug 2005|03:10pm] |
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mood |
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no longer green |
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Mother's Latin is rather confusing. I thought she was talking about Dumbledore's brother, especially with the goat reference, but now I thinks she's talking about the goat's colour. Perhaps it's my Latin that is terrible. Those Wrackspurt traps seem to have done the trick.
Thank your Mum for me, Ginny. That tea did the trick, though my fingernails are still a lovely shade of teal. It looks rather nice.
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[22 Jul 2005|10:30pm] |
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The house has been a bit quiet recently. I'm quite certain there's a Blibbering Humdinger wandering around somewhere, and quite definitely a swarm of Wrackspurts. I've been disctracted all day, I'll definitely have to go down and get some Wrackspurt traps from Millard's. I'm sure I saw an ad saying they were having a sale on Wrackspurt traps...
Anyone else having problems with Wrackspurts? I can pick a trap or two up for you, if you'd like.
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[15 Jul 2005|10:02pm] |
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Pity I couldn't find anything on gorilla medicine in all of Mum's research. Jane does look rather funny with his head cut off. There wasn't anything in the Daily Prophet about a murderer running around killing gorillas...
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[04 Jul 2005|06:01pm] |
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Ginny has disappeared. Jane is looking a bit ill, too. I might have to take him to St Mungo's. Do they treat gorillas?
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[29 Jun 2005|12:36pm] |
Today I found the key to my mother's research library. It was in the pocket of the coat she was wearing when her spell went wrong and she died, and I never thought to check in it. I didn't even check it, Jane was trying her clothes on and he had it on upside down so it fell out of the pocket. I didn't know what it was, so I used a Lock Finding charm on it.
Quite a lot of books here, more than I remember! I think she must've warped space. Anyone speak Ancient Greek?
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[19 Jun 2005|10:59pm] |
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My mother used to knit quite a bit, so I looked out all her old knitting stuff and attempted to knit a hat for Jane, as he seems so naked without some bit of clothing. I think he may have fleas or lice. Perhaps I shall have to delouse him.
Can mosquitoes infest a gorilla? I have these little bites all down my legs. I think they might be a rare form of mosquito that has been magically influenced! They might've been crossbred with fleas or lice.
I think I might try and capture one and examine it. Perhaps I can employ some ants to perform an autopsy?
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[28 May 2005|11:00pm] |
Jane quite likes chocolate frogs. I bought a box the other day and found him scoffing the lot. It's rather annoying, really. He's eating everything in the house and then he's sick, and there's technicolour vomit all over the place. At least I've had more practice with Cleaning charms the past few days!
He woke me up this morning by going through my hair with his fingers. I've no idea what he was looking for. Perhaps I have fleas.
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